The Wolf and the Cheerleader

CW: Attempted sexual assault

Two things happened last summer. I kissed April, and I got bitten by a werewolf.

I

It started at a party. I was never invited to the cool kid’s parties, why would I be? But Giselle and I had been planning to crash, and even though her family had moved to another state, she texted me that night, telling me I should still go and tell her all about it.

I went through my older sister Evie’s wardrobe, what she’d left behind when she went to college. She had been the cool one, the one who got invited to parties and fitted in. I found a trendy flowy dress, with the tag still attached. I was pretty sure she had shoplifted it, Evie could never resist a five finger discount. After I put on some makeup, I figured that if no one looked closely, I could pass as one of the in-crowd.

I texted Giselle, “omw to crash”

“Wish I was there its family game night ugh”, she texted back. I laughed. I had been friends with Giselle since the first day of primary school, her family was one of the closest I had ever known. I was pretty sure Giselle actually liked family game night although she’d never admit to it.

Of course, I knew where the party was. Tyler was one of the richest kids in town and his parents were always going away. I sneaked in the back gate, past kids drinking and jumping into the heated pool, and grabbed a Fanta from the obligatory bath full of ice.

“Sandy?” I turned around to see April, one of the cheerleaders, smiling at me. April was a flyer, petite and perfect, with a doll-like face and naturally curling brown hair. When we were in primary school, she hadn’t been cool, the other kids called her runt, and she had spent several years hanging out with Giselle and I. Then puberty happened, and suddenly she was gorgeous, and a cheerleader. We had barely spoken in years. 

“April, it’s literally been years,” I said, with a little more snark than intended.

“I… I’m sorry we drifted apart, I was thinking of the fun we used to have, remember the tree house?” I could tell April was a little buzzed, perhaps that was making her nostalgic. Giselle had the best tree house in her backyard, built in a big old oak tree by her father. We would sit on an old rug eating snacks and telling scary stories.

“Yeah, those were good times”, I admitted grudgingly.

“It sucks that she moved away, did you ever still go up in the tree house?” April said.

“Yeah, it’s still there. Her dad built it well. Do you want to see? Their house is still vacant.” I guess I was missing Giselle, and I just wanted to recreate the memories as badly as April did. We left the party together, April jumping and giggling and nearly falling on me as a cat ran across our path. It was only a short walk to Giselle’s old place. I boosted April over the back fence, and then climbed over myself.

Soon we were inside the tree house. We sat on the rug, the fibres rasping against my bare legs. There was a bag of Oreos that Giselle must have forgotten up here when she went away. We ate them, washing them down with my can of Fanta. The colours of our lipstick smeared together on the mouth of the can.

April leaned against me, her body warm. “I miss how we used to be,” she murmured. I patted her curls as if we were still children. I knew that tomorrow, she would put this whole night of nostalgia behind her and be back in her world of cheers and popularity.

I closed my eyes for a moment, breathing in April’s scent, soapy and clean. When I opened my eyes, her big eyes were looking into mine, her face right in front of me.

“You were my first kisses, remember? You and Giselle?”

We were twelve, it was the summer before high school, before everything changed. We were getting older, two of the kids in our class had already had their first kisses. We decided we needed to practice, to be ready in case of the unlikely event anyone wanted to kiss us. At first it was the jarring impact of teeth clashing together, then we got better, tongues caressing each other. We practiced all that summer, and maybe I felt something I shouldn’t have felt, because I was never thinking about boys when I was kissing my friends.

Now April was leaning in, and her lips were soft on mine. I opened my mouth and allowed her inside. We kissed deeply. We were older now and it was different. Her hands caressed my body, and I knew for sure that I wanted her. That all I wanted was this.

That night I was dying inside, because I knew that tomorrow, April would go back to being a stranger, and I would have to hide these feelings that she had brought up in me. I knew that I wanted April to be my girlfriend but that could never happen. It was one thing for a loser like me to like girls, but a cheerleader like April? Never!

I don’t remember which of us it was who said we should be getting home. We climbed down the ladder in silence, hugged goodbye and went our separate ways. There was no point pretending we were going to be friends again… or anything more than that. 

I wandered home through the darkness, my lips chafed, my body singing, I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry. I was distracted by the thought of April, and I guess that’s why I didn’t see the dog coming until it was already on me, its mouth closing around my arm. My blood was black in the moonlight and the sound of my own screams echoed in my ears. As I blacked out, I thought about April and how I would never see her again. I wished I could kiss her one more time.

II 

I woke up in hospital. They told me animal control had been pursing the wild dog, they had shot it before it could hurt me too badly. I had 32 stitches in my arm, but other than that I was okay. I didn’t even have a concussion from when my head hit the pavement. I had to stay in hospital for a few days for observation, and when my rabies test came back negative the nurses threw a little party for me with balloons and cake. I got a card signed by nearly everyone in my year, but April’s name was missing from it. She didn’t come and visit me in hospital either.

I recovered quickly. The doctors said I had a great immune system. I took to jogging in the mornings, feeling stronger than I ever had. I guess they’re right when they say a near death experience changes you. I felt more enthusiastic about life than I ever had. I even had to buy new clothes, to fit over my new muscles. I knew I was more buff than girls are supposed to be, but it didn’t bother me, I wasn’t interested in what the other kids thought.

When school came back, I joined the track team, and surprised everyone by being one of the best. Was this the same dorky kid who spent all her time in the library?

There were only two things that dampened my new positive attitude, the first was that April was still ignoring me, and I would be damned if I would be the first to talk to her. The second was that I was sleepwalking. Not all the time, but at least once a month, I would wake up in bed, my feet muddy, my hair filled with leaves. I figured it was some kind of post traumatic stress. I didn’t want to tell my parents because, for the first time since Giselle left, things were actually going well for me. I was making friends in track team and I was… God forbid, actually kind of popular.

Most of the track team were guys but they were actually friendly to the girls on the team and treated us with respect. We spent a lot of time hanging out at the diner after meets, eating greasy burgers that somehow never seemed to affect our ability to race. Some of the guys would even ask me for advice on how to get muscles like mine, I would lie about supplements and weight training, but the thing was, my body just seemed to want to be strong these days.

One day, Jason Smith asked me out. Jason was field, so technically not part of our team, but it was okay for track and field to mix. He was a high jumper and had a well muscled physique similar to mine. Even though I was pretty sure by now I didn’t like boys, I figured I should go out with him and see. He picked me up in an old beater of a car that was probably twenty years old, but at least he had made an effort with his appearance. He was wearing a new looking t-shirt, and had clearly (and inexpertly) ironed his jeans. He reeked of some aftershave he had probably stolen off his dad. We went to see a movie at the drive in. He paid for the popcorn and two huge cokes. We made out in the back of the car and I felt nothing.

I excused myself saying I had to pee (technically I did, it was a lot of coke) and made my way to the toilet block. Tears stung my eyes, I didn’t know how to tell Jason that I didn’t like him that way. As I was coming back out of the toilets, someone pushed me up against the wall. I was shocked to see April. For someone so tiny, she was pretty strong. I could smell the scent of her body under her deodorant and it made my heart beat fast in my chest. I was shocked to see that she was crying.

“So that’s it? Jason that dimwit? Did you ever really like me?” she slurred.

“April, calm the hell down!” I grabbed her by her arms. I had to be careful not to hurt her with my new-found strength.

 “I thought it meant something, that night…” she sobbed.

 “It meant something to me. But we both know you aren’t ever going to come out publicly, April. You’d never date me. We’d just be sneaking around. I thought I’d try… I don’t know. Try and be normal.”

 April didn’t say anything after that, just sobbed. I held her in my arms until she was done. Then she went into the toilet block to fix her makeup and I knew that when she went back to her group she would look pristine and no one would have any idea what had happened.

 I went back to Jason and the car and then… they said afterwards I must have blocked it out. There had been another wild dog attack. I was covered in Jason’s blood and at first they thought I was dead too. April was holding me and screaming. I don’t remember any of it.

III 

After the second dog attack, April would barely leave my side. She was terrified something else would happen to me. People thought it was a bit odd, but she had been my friend once. We both had to see the counsellor on a weekly basis, along with a few other kids who had also witnessed the attack. The school held a memorial for Jason. Jason’s parents told me how much he had liked me and I felt horribly guilty. They still hadn’t caught the second dog and now there were fears it was part of a pack. A curfew was instituted but that just made us more determined to go out and do whatever we wanted.

I had been having terrible dreams of fur and blood, so now I was on sleeping pills and antidepressants, which helped somewhat. Except those mornings when I woke covered in dirt and wondered how the hell I was still sleepwalking with the strength of the sleeping pills I was taking.

Eventually I broke down and rang Giselle, telling her about all the weird details I had left out. After a long silence she said, “are you sure you aren’t a werewolf, Sandy?”

I laughed in shock. “Really, Giselle? I know you always liked horror films, but isn’t that a bit ridiculous?”

“I’m serious, Sandy. The memory loss, the mysterious night walks, they all add up to one thing: lycanthropy!”

“OK, Giselle, if you don’t have anything helpful to contribute, I’m hanging up on you!”

“No, listen, I think you need to test my theory. Is your little stalker there? Put April on.”

I turned to April, who was sitting on my bed finishing her poster for the next football game. There was a smudge of paint of her cheek and I wanted to wipe it off, but I resisted the urge. “Giselle wants to talk to you.”

 April’s eyes got wide. Despite the fact April and I were hanging out again, Giselle and April still hadn’t talked. She looked nervous when I handed her the phone. “Hey Giselle, how are you doing?”

I knew Giselle was getting straight to the point. She never had time for hollow niceties. I watched April’s face, sure she was going to laugh. Her big eyes seemed to get even bigger, she was nodding. Was she buying this? She kept nodding and saying yes. Finally, she said, “OK, I’ll do it.”

“April, tell me Giselle hasn’t roped you into her madness!”

“Well… she was always pretty convincing. She said I need to sleep over on the night of the full moon and follow you if you go anywhere. Then we’ll know for sure.”

“April, you know if you sleep over we aren’t going to..”

April blushed, “For fuck’s sake, Sandy, I am trying to help you out here. Can you keep your mind out of the gutter for one minute?”

Now it was my turn to be embarrassed.

“But what about the danger? If I turn into a wolf, won’t you risk being my next victim?”

“Oh, Giselle told me about protection. Don’t you worry about that.”

IV 

“What’s with the bling?” I gestured at April’s wrists and neck which were covered in chunky jewellery.

“They were my grandma’s. They were the only silver jewellery I could find.” April said.

“I could still eat you if I avoided your neck and wrists,” I pointed out, causing April to blush. Whose mind was in the gutter now?

We finished our homework and played boring games. At nine, I told April I had to go for my run. She didn’t think it was a good idea. “Can’t you skip it tonight?”

“I can’t sleep if I don’t go for a run. Besides, if I don’t train I won’t win the next race meet.” 

April snorted. She knew just as well as I did that I had no trouble winning races.

“Come on, I’m so restless, I feel like climbing the walls!”

“That I’d like to see,” April muttered, but grudgingly pulled on her sneakers and followed me out into the night.

Something about being outside at night always made my senses come alive. I could smell the gardenias blooming down the road, hear the buzzing of street lamps, know where each cricket was from its scraping music. I knew when the cats were running across the street before I saw them. Beside me, April was a shivering presence, and I felt an urge to protect her. I wondered how many women felt like I did at night, if it was something we could all feel if we were not stuck inside, afraid of being hurt by the men that lurked in the dark. I was no longer afraid and it was a heady feeling.

I took April’s hand in mine. She was sweating and the perfume of it underneath her deodorant was sweet to me. It took all the strength I had not to drag her into the bushes and kiss her. My senses were humming and I knew I could find all the places that made her mine. I could read her like a book.

April tensed up, like a deer ready to jump away. I felt it too. The bad energy coming up the street. I stopped, ready to take us a different way, when a van screeched to a stop next to us. A man got out, absolutely burning with darkness. I think I growled a little, low in my throat, but he did not hear. 

“Neighbourhood watch! You girls should not be out here, there’s a curfew! Get in and I’ll take you home!”

April was already backing away, her hand clutching mine like a vice.

“No thank you”, I told him. “We can get ourselves home just fine.”

The man gave an impatient grunt and darted behind me to grab April. Her hand was wrenched out of mine and she shrieked. A moment later he was yelling in pain as April stomped on his foot, headbutted him in the nose and dropped out of his grip. Those self-defence classes had really paid off. 

I grabbed April and shoved her behind me. She might know some self-defence but I was bigger and stronger, and obviously not the preferred target. Rage swept through me. If this man wanted to hurt April, I would make him pay.

Pain pain pain. Red. Screams and howls. More red. A delicious salty taste in my mouth. A feeling of rightness and strength. Hungry then no longer hungry. Fed enough. Wipe my face in my fur. What now? Cat. Smell of cat. Nasty cat. Chase cat, yes. Behind me rapid heartbeat and slowing one. Someone is scared. But that was dealt with. There cat is. Chase. Chase. Now who is hunter, cat? It is me. Yes, run. I chase. The road disappears beneath me. I am faster than ever. The run is pure joy. The chase is too short. Bones shatter beneath my teeth. Yowling cat. Silent cat. Delicious cat. Different taste to last food. Hear heartbeat again. Turn. Growl. This my prey, find own! No, something familiar. Girl. Small, prey-like. But something makes me not want to attack. Familiar smell. Smells like burning but underneath, a sweetness. Girl comes closer. Reaches out hand to me. Why? I am hunter. Why no fear me? She touches my head. Stroke gently. This feels so good. Rub my ears, yes. Mmm. Feels so good. No. Pain pain pain.

This time I did not black out. This time, when I awakened naked on my footpath, April holding my head, I knew what had happened. I just wanted to lie there and cry, but April dragged and begged me and forced me to get up and go home, wrapped in her much too small jacket.

At home, she bathed me like I was a child, dressed me in my pajamas and helped me into bed. She held me while I cried myself to sleep.

I had some bad days after that. I wanted to kill myself, but April would not let me. She stayed with me day and night. My parents were worried and wanted to put me on a psychological hold at the hospital, but somehow she convinced them not too. She held me while I ranted and cried, and kept telling me how she could not live in a world without me.

When the worst was over, she convinced me to have a Skype call with Giselle. Mostly it was the two of them discussing my condition. They decided that I only became dangerous when faced with danger. I had turned to protect April from the man in the street, and at the cinema that night, Jason had probably tried to go further than I wanted to. The solution to not changing was as simple as staying calm and, Giselle pointed out, rapists get what they deserve. But what had turned me back? In Giselle’s mind, it was simple. Love. When April touched me, not afraid of me even in my wolf form, my love for her had triggered my softer instincts. It had called me back to my human self.

“So you see, killing yourself is not the answer, Sandy,” Giselle said, “I think April will agree, she is the answer. Maybe it’s time you two became a item.”

V

If anyone was surprised at how quickly April and I became a serious couple, no one commented on it. Maybe they were afraid of not seeming woke enough, as we were the first openly queer couple at our school. For a while my parents kept asking me to leave the door open when April was in my room, but they soon realised that wasn’t going to keep our hands off each other and were happy for the door to be shut.

I had a few near incidents with guys who tried to put their hands on me but April was always there to calm me down, and in time, with some meditation classes, I was able to keep my werewolf side chained up. Now I just put them in an arm bar or kick them in the balls.

Sometimes though, April and I drive out to the nature reserve and I can run free, without fear of hurting anyone. I may have taken out a few wild animals, for which I am very sorry, but sometimes, my wolf nature just needs to be let out. I find that keeps me calmer the rest of the month.

Next year, April and I are starting college. We’re going to be room mates. I never thought that April and I would be friends again, let alone girlfriends. It’s been a really strange year. 

It's summer again soon. Giselle is coming up to stay with my family and spend time with April and I. She’s bringing her boyfriend too. I hope he’s not an idiot, or I might have to eat him.